“And here we were hoping cryptocurrency would go the way of Quibi” – Jeff
Hey there carnivores,
Markets dropped slightly on Wednesday, but some investors are still holding out hope that a stimulus deal can get done before the election.
Today we’re talking about PayPal getting into crypto.
Jeff & Jason
Pay to Play
PayPal is making a play to appeal to the guy who’s somehow become an “expert” on a currency that’s only existed for like 7 years.
That’s right, cryptocurrency.
On Wednesday, PayPal announced that it’s rolling out a new feature allowing its users to buy, hold, and sell cryptocurrencies. The new feature makes PayPal the largest financial services firm to offer access to the seedy world of cryptocurrency.
So, what can users buy?
To kick things off, PayPal will keep it mainstream, dealing in bitcoin, Ethereum, bitcoin cash and Litecoin. By early 2021, customers will be able to use their cryptocash to pay at PayPal’s network of more than 26M retailers. So first retail employees had to work during a global pandemic, and now they have to listen to bitcoin bois unsolicited opinion on decentralizing government.
Even more exciting for millennials that “will totally pay you back for bottomless mimosas,” PayPal will roll crypto features out to Venmo (which it owns) in early 2021. And you thought Venmo was only good for figuring out which of your friends are breaking social distancing rules.
On the news, shares of PayPal jumped 5.5% to $213.07, the biggest increase since May.
Bitcoin, arguably the most well known cryptocurrency (in the sense that your mom’s asked you about it) shot above $13k for the first time since July 2019. It rose 8% during traditional trading hours in NY. Cryptocurrency can’t be traced, you think it’s going to follow bankers’ hours?
PayPal joins Square and MicroStrategy in the world of crypto. Square and Micro, both publicly traded companies, invested in bitcoin earlier this year. On the “buttoned up” finance side, Fidelity Investments announced in August that it’s launching its first bitcoin fund.
The bottom line…
PayPal is striking while the iron’s hot with existing cryptocurrencies, but what happens when the guys who actually print the money start making their own? Some of the world’s central banks, including the United States’ Fed and European Central Bank, have laid out plans to potentially release their own cryptocurrencies. Stimulus checks go a lot further when you can use them to buy a brick of cocaine on the dark web.
China is also joining the (presumably communist) party, with the People’s Bank of China developing its own virtual currency. Something tells me it’s going to look a lot like whatever the US ends up doing.
And let’s not forget Libra, the Facebook backed digital currency.
☑️Earnings, with a side of E-coli. Chipotle beat earnings expectations yesterday, yet shares dropped 4% after hours. Allow me to explain…
Starting with the good… EPS of $3.76 beat estimates of $3.47, and revenue of $1.6B eclipsed the forecasted $1.59B. “It’s cool if we round up, right?” – Chipotle’s accountants to the SEC
And digital sales more than tripled for the second quarter in a row. I wonder why.
As for the bad, Q3’s net income of $80.2M was a steep drop from last year’s $98.6M. Costs increased due to more deliveries and beef prices, while income fell due to fewer in-store orders of drinks. Spin zone: the upside of restaurants limiting capacity is that fewer hoodlums can steal your salsa.
☑️We’re talkin profits?! Tesla reported earnings after markets closed yesterday, and posted a profit for the fifth consecutive quarter. Suck it, S&P selection committee. The electric car company delivered a record 139.3k vehicles in the quarter, while reassuring Tesla stans that it expects to deliver 500k EV in 2020. For the record, none of those deliveries will be the Cybertruck.
EPS came in at 76 cents and revenue hit $8.77B, beating estimates of 57 cents and $8.36B respectively. However, operating expenses jumped 33% from the prior quarter to $1.25B due to enhancing existing and building new factories. $TSLA rose 3% in after hours trading.
☑️This ol’ song and dance. A $500B Republican coronavirus aid bill was blocked in the Senate. Which should surprise no one. It would have included PPP funds and a $300 weekly unemployment stipend. Noticeably missing is another round of stimuli checks.
But all hope is not lost, as House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin are hard at work on a bill that’s somewhere in the $2T ballpark, that may be up for vote after the November 3 election date. Or maybe before. Who the f*ck knows.
☑️So sorry. Purdue Pharma pleaded guilty to criminal charges for its role in the opioid crisis, and will pay roughly $8B. Since it doesn’t have that much cash on hand, the big pharma be dissolved, and its assets will become a “public benefit company,” with future earnings utilized to pay fines and combat the opioid crisis that it helped create. Fun fact: the company will still make OxyContin. You can’t make this sh*t up.
As for the company’s owners, the beloved Sacklers, they will pay a $225M civil penalty. Sooo, a slap on the wrist. There is still hope that those douchelords will do some hard time (in Club Fed, of course), as there is a criminal investigation by the JD that is currently ongoing.